Things no one tells you about shaving your pussy

1. How to do it

The only other part of my body that I shave are my arms, other than that, I rip those motherfucking hairs out, even though it hurts so bad it makes me cry. I decided shaving my pussy is the easiest way to go, since it’s quick, easy, painless and it doesn’t require other people poking around my vagina (like waxing does). Well guess what. It is not easy. It’s not instinctive and most definitely, it’s not idiot-proof. There are so many folds, and skin, and hair all the way in between, and you absolutely cannot do this without a mirror. I have no idea whether I should go against the grain, or whether I should do it before, after or while showering, or what the proper after-care is. I did find out recently that these are normal questions, that many women have asked before, so at least I am not an embarrassment to the female community by not knowing how to shave my vagina vulva.

2. How important hair is when you pee

You know how men are often complaining about double or triple streams when peeing? Well, guys, a shaved pussy is even worse than that. A shaved pussy is a fucking sprinkler. About 3 years ago, when I first shaved completely, I had two great shocks: one, my vulva didn’t look like any other that I have seen in porn and that had me depressed for months (I’m over that, I realized soon enough that my pussy looks absolutely amazing). And two, pee streaming down my butt was going to be a normal occurrence. I was not ready for this. I was out in a club and at one point I had to go to the bathroom. Usually when I’m in a public toilet, I squat. Well imagine my face when I nearly peed myself because I had absolutely no control over the stream and it just went everywhere, including down my leg. Everyone should know this! Hair guides the pee! No hair? You better have some crazy steering skills.

3. It fucking hurts

I’m going to leave out the itching part, because if you’ve ever shaved any part of your body, you know the itching is unavoidable. The pain, however, caught me unprepared. I usually spend the first day after shaving naked (in the privacy of my own room, of course). I love the feeling of it and I think it’s visually pleasing. But oh, my, the second day is fucking hell. The hairs start poking out and even the smallest touch irritates me like crazy. I had to say no to sex more than once because of this and it is one of the reasons I still think I’m doing this whole shaving thing wrong.

4. It takes time

Okay, this might be just me, but it takes me fucking forever to do a proper job because, well…I get distracted. Exactly, I get so turned on by trying to get rid of the hair on my genitals that I have to stop and take care of them before continuing. Sometimes I would masturbate as often as three times in one hour, with shaving breaks in between. And of course, the celebratory orgasm, inspired by the deliciously smooth skin, is never left out. I think this is exactly why I’m scared to get a professional waxing – what do I do if I get really turned on? I can’t just tell the lady there “Err, could I have a couple of minutes alone? I need a quick wank.”

***

And now – even though I find this whole discussion about shaving/not shaving useless, because each of us it free to do whatever she wants to her body, regardless of what society thinks – I would like to direct you to this article. I enjoyed it and I think you will, too.

One thought on “Things no one tells you about shaving your pussy

  1. Ugh. I’ve never heard anyone else complain about it. But its a bitch, no matter what, and its sadly how we and our partners prefer it. Oh the next day is awful. I’ve had to say no to sex on several occasions as well, you just can’t beat that itch and snag and ick. Just gotta wait it out, and try and get some DAY OF shaving. Haha

    Thanks for posting, useless or not it was a good read. LOL

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